44 and Security

Today is my birthday! At 8:21 am Eastern time today, 44 years ago, I popped out all googly and stuff and began to breath on my own. Pretty trippy. But totally cool too! :)

What's even trippier, is what 44 means, given my recent study of the nature of Security.

And old astrologer of mine use to say that the number 4 means "foundation and security". (yeah, do you see where this is going?). So that 44 means "double foundation and security". Then she would total the two numbers together to get a third, equalling number. In this case 8, which is "power".

So 44 = double security resulting in power.

And I just spent the last 3 days delving into the nature of Security. There are NO coincidences.

The last piece of this puzzle is how Security actually feels! I have a sense of this -- and it's keyed to appreciation and love -- but I suspect there is more to it. I will work on it some tonight.

New Thoughts on Security

Last night, after sitting with all my revelations about Security, I took out my pen and notebook again and began to list out the new story I want to tell about Security. It was light and easy and fun and deep. I am beginning to feel the shift and clearing already occurring. So much so that when a creditor called, I felt secure and not thrown off at all. In fact, he took a smaller payment then usual, without any gruff or resistance.

So here's my new story around Security:

1. Security is an inside job!
2. Security and feeling secure is available to me at any time!
3. I've had financial security in one form or another many times n my life and I can have it again.
4. It is not based on how much money I have or make (take $$ out of the equation) but on my inner strength, confidence, love, worthiness and connection to Well-Being.
5. I'm so grateful for the level of security I actually already do have!
6. Security is not like a light switch -- either on or off; existent or non-existent. Security is eternally existent as a part of the expansion of who we are!
7. So I am secure right here and now, in this moment, and in more than one way.
8. I am secure in who I am in a person; in my new and current positive feeling beliefs; in my knowledge of my business; in my friendships and love relationships; in my understanding of how Law of Attraction and the Art of Allowing work; in my trust of the Universe and the stream I have created; in my confidence and knowing that I will receive ALL that I ask for and desire.
9. I know there is no death -- only the return to Non-Physical, which is exciting. So death needs no protecting from. Which means perhaps security is something bigger than a protection from death.
10. And even loss is irrelevant, in terms of needing protection from it. My life -- the Universe -- is eternally expansive, never stuck, never able to go backwards and un-become what it/I have become! So there is no such thing as loss, because any "loss" simply creates more desires, which are added to the Creative Mix and the Universe -- and my life -- expands, becoming more than it has been before. So if there is only ever expansion and growth, then there is no going backwards, and thus no "loss"!
11. Today, and from now on, I am open to expanding my security -- my sense of security and actual security -- further than it has ever been before.

So essentially, there is noting but an ever-expanding, ever-increasing state of Well-Being. And my sense of and connection to this is security. My knowledge, confidence, trust and assurance of Well-Being IS security. So everything is perfect, just the way it is.

What am I Thinking about Security...?

Today I awoke and thought, "Gosh, I should ask myself that question Abraham encourages us to ask when we're feeling stuck or blocked on an issue." So I got out my pen and notebook and wrote down "What is it I am thinking about you, Security, that is keeping me from being who I a really am, from allowing myself to go with my own flow?"

Here's what I came up with. A series of old thoughts I've been thinking about Security:

1. I need money ($$$) to be secure.
2. Even if I have the $$$ -- and thus financial security -- it will go away of be taken from me.
3. Security is fleeting.
4. If only I had more financial resources I would never loose anything; that security protects me from the loss of what I love!!
5. Security is illusive and just a myth
6. Other people can have it, but not me
7. It takes forever to get
8. I shouldn't be materially focused that my only security should come from God
9. I can never have enough security, and even then, it will not protect me from death and loss; there will never be enough security to protect me from death and loss!

Wow, this is a pretty impactful list. There's some crazy stuff going on here. Some of it seemingly contradictory. The first thing I noticed right away, was that there was a heavy victim vibe and a sort of "left up to chance" element. Even the bit about God being the only source of security come from an old Catholic thought which places God outside myself. Thus, all nine statements either bring good or bad from outside myself, which leaves me completely in powerlessness, and therefore unable -- from that vantage point -- to create anything deserving.

Of course, I don't believe this for a second. All these thoughts are hogwash based on my current understanding. But they've been habitually thought, and thus become beliefs. So now, I choose to reframe them!!

Security - Defined (An Exploration of the Word Itself)

So this morning, being infinitely intrigued with my friend's query to me yesterday, I took it upon myself to look up the definition of the word "security". Here is what I found:

Security

1. freedom from danger, risk, etc.; safety
2. freedom from care, anxiety, fear or doubt; well-founded confidence
3. freedom from financial cares or from want,
4. defense against financial failure; financial independence
5. an assurance; guarantee

This lead to needing to explore the word "secure", which revealed something very similar:

Secure

1. free from or not exposed to danger or harm; free from risk of loss; safe
2. reliable; dependable; firm; not liable to fail
3. free from care; without anxiety
4. firmly established; sure; certain; assured
5. free from fear or doubt; easy in mind

But what was the most fascinating ended up being the derivation of the word security.

• Se = without; apart from
• Cure = care; restoration to health; correcting or relieving anything troublesome or detrimental
• -ity = state of being

So SECURITY seems to mean "the state of being without or apart from (the need) for care, restoration or correcting".

When I think about this further, it seems to be implying that when in the state of security, there is no need to restore, heal, cure, fix, correct or relieve anything. Being without or apart from the need to cure, fix or correct is, essentially, wellness.

So SECURITY = WELL-BEING.

This is an incredible revelation to me.

How Does Security Feel?

I was talking with a dear friend few hours ago and she asked me something very profound.

"What does security feel like, for you?"

What an incredible question. Now, I know that security has been a big working for me in this life -- and many before, honestly. And habitually in my mind, I have associated it with money. Yet I know it's not about money. As Abraham says, "take money out of the equation."

So if I honestly take money out of the equation, then the focus must naturally shift to security. And for the first time in my life, with the innocent, loving question from my friend, I can feel the sincere desire to look into this more deeply.

Not from a place of asking what I am afraid of. That's helpful to a degree. But I want to make a study of how security feels. I want to feel the visceral, energetic equivalent to it and KNOW it inside me. I believe that having done this -- having crossed this incredible threshold -- I will be one step closer to receiving all the riches I could ever want.

Security. I will look into this further.

Dreaming of Finer Things

Today, I am dreaming of the finer things in life.

Classy black limousines to take me everywhere I go. Luxurious, tailored suits for all occasions -- formal, semi and casual. Fine wine and fancy restaurants. World travel at the snap of a finger. the finest gowns and jewelry for my girlfriend.

A beautiful home, with a modern contemporary interior, but a rustic exterior. A large, heated swimming pool and a view of the ocean. Three summer homes on the islands of my choice, condos and apartments in New York, Paris, Buenos Aires, London and Milan. A winter home on a Greek Island.

A high-class vehicle with luxury interiors, space-age features and the quietest, safest ride. A high-performance sports car, with power, speed, verve and fun. Definitely a convertible.

My own private jet, as well as use of helicopter services at my whim.

Pure, unadulterated joy. Quite honestly, the joy comes first. But I like being clear about things that I want. It helps fire the imagination and raise the vibration.

What's even cooler though, is that this is just a list of luxurios things to have. I skipped all the be and do ones too!

Strange Stillness

Have you been feeling oddly still or quiet recently? Are you finding yourself thinking you need to do something, or make something happen, but feeling stuck or stalled or immobilized? Or even feeling like simply just wish to do nothing -- or nothing "constructive" -- instead of being all busy-busy over stuff?

This is because there is a very profound shift happening, right now. It's a deepening call to ourselves, to self-love and to self-care and to self-guidance. It's a call to return to ourselves, to focus on love, appreciation and higher vibration thoughts and feelings, and to forego the need to effort, struggle, strain or "make" anything happen.

Hahahaha. Make something happen? What a crock of bull! Nobody can "make something happen", at least not by effort and force.

I've begun reading "Think and Grow Rich" again -- the original, unabridged version of it -- and it's quite impactful. One story was told of a man who became a prominent business associate of Thomas Edison's, simply from his unwaivering, clear and definitive desire for it. He knew, beyond all measure of doubt, beyond all evidence of what was infront of him, that this was true. And he felt it as though it was real and already occuring.

So embrace this stillness. It's a wonderful gestation time to get clear and return to our selves and our deeper knowings. Perhaps unearth some new desires and create internally instead of with physical effort and force.

Surrounded by Abundance

Yesterday, all day long, I felt surrounded by Abundance.

Now you might think I mean that as I walked around, I could see all sorts of signs of Abundance and that I was really feeling connected to all that. But that's not what I mean.

The moment I awoke, I felt like there was a sphere of energy around me: the energy of Abundance. It was like a field surrounding me through which I could feel the flow of Source and the truly Abundant nature of life. I was almost tangibly aware of this field as I moved through the day.

As I felt into it more and more, I sensed that it was some sort of layer between me and my higher self. I sensed that if I/it vibrated highly enough, then any manner of things I wanted would be drawn into proximity to me/it and then manifest. At the same time I was completely detached from any agendas or specifics. I was simply just vibrating, lovingly held and protected in this field. And I just flowed through my day.

So much so that I had some great experiences, one of which was meeting a new like-minded friend, with great energy and a real spark of life. Warmed my heart to have that experience.

I can still feel it a bit today. Not as strong. But I can feel it. I'm very curious about this awareness.

Insight 8: $50,000. Easy and Believable

Wow. I'm up to 8 Insights. This has been an incredible year so far, eh! Ok, here's the next one.

Back on the weekend of February 9th and 10th I had the wonderful experience of staying the night at the La Costa Resort and Spa. I had gone down on Saturday the 9th for a music festival that a dear friend produces and I decided I wanted to stay the night. But I had no clue where. I had asked registrationg 2 or 3 times if they had any availabilty and the answer was the same: No.

Funny thing was that I knew there was a room for me at the resort. 100% knew this was true.

Well, one thing led to another and somehow, I ended up manifesting a free night in one of the suites the bands used to prep before their shows!! It was way cool sleeping in this cushy, luxurious bed, in this awesome resort. Don't get me wrong, I love my bed at home, but melting into luxury is one of my soon-to-be favorite past-times. :)

The next morning I awoke with one singular thought in my head: $50,000.

Now it's not every day I awake with that much money on my brain. :) Much less feeling it easily, comfortably and excitedly bopping around in there. Yup -- I was easily conceiving of making $50,000 just like that. And I believed it. Just like I believed there was a room for me that night at the resort. Just like I knew the Giants would win when I woke up on Superbowl Sunday.

What is extra cool about this is not just the amount, and not just the ease in which it sat in my mind and in my heart, but where the thought expanded to during that whole week.

It went from a lump sum, to a believable monthly earnings amount!!!

And I believe it. I am convinced now, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that I will be making $50,000 a month very soon. Maybe even next month. But for sure by the end of the 2nd Quarter!

This is the best evidence of my own Abundance that I could ever dream of.

Insight 7: Two Clear Visions of Home

Right aroud that same time (Feb 5th) I had two back-to-back visions of what I want regarding my home life and where I live. They were so clear that I can still feel them today.

The first was a perfect picture of how I want my apartment to look -- correction: how it WILL look -- when it is done being furnished and decorated. This was a full-blown image of a completed living room, dining room, bedroom and office that rocked! it was amazing how real, how vivid it felt. And it felt completely done and believable.

Now, this might not seem like much to some people, but to me, it's monumental. Why? Because I have never pictured, much less imagined ahead of time, how where I'm living will turn-out like this. Plus, the imagery was very detailed, right down to the paintings, side table decorations, color scheme -- everything.

This, of course, was very inspiring.

But the next vision floored me. It was of where I will be moving to after this apartment -- where I will own and live.

This time, it was in a fancy house in the hills overlooking the ocean. Nothing outlandish, mind you. But statedly elegant, simple design and very warm and comfortable. Most off all, there is an incredibly huge terrace in back with a view of the ocean. I don't have tons of extra details about this vision. But the key to this one is that I knew it was true. I knew it was completely doable and that in some way it existed already. And I also knew where it is: Brentwood. Or there abouts. :)

This is key because I've been tied to the San Fernando Valley pretty much since August 2005, when I moved to LA. But I was drawn to move to LA because of Santa Monica and specifically, the ocean. In fact the vision I had that lead me to LA was of the ocean and palm trees along Ocean Ave in Santa Monica.

So this final vision of the home with the terrace in the hills above Brentwood is truly amazing to me. Now I'm excited to go out and scout for the place!

Insight 6: Pre-Spending My Future Earnings

Okay. This may sound a little odd, but do you know about pre-spending your future earnings? It's a little Law of Attraction trick I was taught. Technically, they don't even need to be future earnings -- they can be purely imaginary because the conscious mind doesn't discriminate between the two if the vibration is the same! But for the purpose of this story, it's future earnings.

So here's what happened. Back on February 5th I was driving around thinking about my houses for sale. I've got two for sale in Kansas City, MO and they should each net me aroudn $10,000 in profit. Technically, the second one will net aroudn $20,000, but that is being split with my partner on that deal.

In my mind, I was spending the money, practicing this idea of pre-spending. Well I found that quite automatically and instinctually, my mind went to pay money toward my debt. In and of itself this is not a bad thought, unless it makes one feel bad, as it was doing to me.

That's when it hit me. Every time I forsee myself getting money, I begin to spend it on debt reduction and I end up feeling a sense of lack, which sends out a vibration of lack regarding receiving the earnings, which keeps me from receiving the earnings! Here's how the thought process goes, just to be clear about this:

1. "Oh wow! I've got $10,000 coming!" (feeling = excited and positive expectation)

2. "Hmm...let's see...I'll out 30% toward reserves, 40% toward expenses and 30% toward debt reduction." (feeling = less excited and becoming tedious)

3. "Damn there's no money left for the fun things I want to do! Now what do I do?" (feeling = lack, disappointed, shortage, insecurity)

It goes from excitement and positive expectation to lack and insecurity in about 3 seconds. Not a pretty site.

Once I realized this, I felt into it and decide to -- as Bob Proctor says in The Secret -- get on a debt reduction plan and focus on Prosperity. I have a debt reduction plan and I believe in it. So when I let go of the need to reduce it quickly, I was then able to trust that my debt will take care of itself as I steadily pay according to the plan. And that it is MOST important for me to pay for me and all the wonderful things I want to do -- including re-investing and having fun.

There's a principle I have heard and need to re-instigate in my life: Pay Yourself First.

Insight 5: Video Games are an Example of Abundance

I know, you're probably wondering what the hell I am talking about. Especially if you have any angst, issue or judgement regarding video games. But I am proud to be a video-gamer and I enjoy it immensely. It is truly leading-edge entertainment. And for me -- who plays only noble quests, swords and sorcery games -- it's all the fantasy/sci-fi reading I did as a boy, come to life in interactive form. Anyways, I digress... :)

So one day earlier this month (Feb 08) it struck me that in all the video games I have every played where the characters can collect and spend money, the money never runs out. Yes, there is absolutely NO SHORTAGE of money in a video game. Sure, I may spend all my coinage on a fancy new sword or spell, or at the latest gadget shop. But I never, ever do so with a worry toward that being my last coinage, my last vestige of profit for the rest of the game.

No, there's never a worry, because there's always more. There's more fiends to fight. More treasure to find. More rewards to have. There is always more. And more than enough.

In fact, what's fascinating about most games, is that as you gain in experience -- and as the things to buy get more expensive -- you earn more money!

Viewed at from a Law of Attraction stand-point, this makes complete sense. More experience in the game (life) creates an opprtunity for more stuff (desires) which is met by the receiving of more money and the advent of new shops and gadgets (manifestation), which allows the character to accomplish more and then have more experience (expansion). And the cycle starts again.

Fascinating!

Insight 4: January Ends in the Flow

January ended rather incredibly. The big potential money making project had fallen through. I had had a series of shifts. I had enjoyed wearing a fancy tux at a major Detroit Auto Show and had been experiencing a quite unusual calm about my financial situation. I was truly feeling blessed.

Most of all, I wasn't afraid about my bank balance for the first time in a long time. I was regularly doing the inside job of keeping my vibration set and high, focusing only on the feelings I wanted to manifest and occasionally tapping into this knowing that everything was happening perfectly. After all, I have always been taken care of.

Well, as the month happened, a large sum of money arrived that more than covered me for what was needed at the time. And I was 100% confident that I had created that. It wasn't just dumb or blind luck. I had created that. How? By staying in a vibration of Abundance and Well-Being. And at the last moment -- literally $200 left in my bank account -- the money came in.

This has taught me something really crucial. That when I trust and expect everything to flow, then it does. And that it is natural and good -- meaning nothing bad is happening -- when there is an ebb and flow.

Which leads to my next realization....

Insight 3: How Can I Thrive, Prosper and Profit?

Also around January 12th, a dubious internal thought pattern was so wonderfully revealed to me that I was simply overjoyed with the realization.

I realized that every time in my life when my money got below a certain point -- whatever that comfort point was -- my thoughts would habitually and instinctively go toward "How and I going to survive? How am I going to get by right now?"

Well, that rang a clear bell in my head as a thought pattern that only has one possible outcome: getting by! And I don't want to just get by. I want to THRIVE!!

So right there and then, I decided to change the thought pattern. Ever since then, I have asked myself, "How can I thrive, prosper and profit in the face of this situaion?".

And you know what I realized? This question can and should be asked by me at ANY time. Not just when my bank account balance is low. But always and in every situation. That, my friends, is true wealth mentality.

Insight 2: Moving into New Story-Building

Around January 12th, I had an incredible realization. Spiritual guidance in months past had revealed to me that on some soul level, I was building stories (see December 10th post) that were essential for my being an example or a Steward of Abundance. Back at that time, I saw how that was important. How my overarching souls desire to be an inspiration to people was driving the experience of stories of struggle and hardship. "Before" stories, if you will.

But back in January, something shifted. I awoke one morning, close to the 12th, and thought "I'm done building stories! I no longer feel the need to build stories of struggle and hardship and "having been there too". I realized I was free to choose a new direction. And I choose thriving. I choose to commit my soul to building stories and experiences of thriving, on every level, but more importantly, internally. "After" stories, to be precise. Stories that inspire from a place of having Abundance, not from a place of wanting it. Stories of where I am and where I am going.

So I am no committed to telling the story of where I am going, how my monthly income run rate is increasing every month and every quarter. How I am doing more and more deals, having more and more funding come to me, and taking more and more money and passive income home.

And this leads quite nicely to my next post.

Insight 1: How the Un-manifest Serves Our Greater Abundance

I entered January 2008 with an incredible project in the works that had the potential of making several people a lot of money, very smoothly and easily. It was a true sign of Abundance in my business. And, together with my colleauges, we worked our side of the arrangement to the best of our ability.

However, as the month progressed, more was revealed about this opportunity that began to not sit well with our group. Certain parties were not following through. Certain arrangements were not unfolding to our liking. And as a whole, the project was becoming more complex and uncomfortable for me.

As the project finaly fell apart in late January, I recognized I had a distinct choice in front of me: to get upset about the loss of something that hadn't really come to fruition; or to use the experience to get more clear about what I want. I choose the latter.

See, having this experience was very clarifying for me on several levels:

1. Working in and as a group became so utterly uncomfortable for me that I got clear I simply wanted to build and run my business -- just me, no one else -- and not get involved in any group or partnership ventures right now. Some might call this closing myself off to opportunities. But I instantly felt better in re-committing to my own business. This is my preference for now and I wish to stick to it. So this experience helped clarify and reinforce that.
2. I realized that a lot of visionary talk and expression of potential was being thrown around. A lot of "we could do this" or "let's do this". Now, separate from the "we" dynamic, I realized that for right now, my preference for my business is not to get into high-flying big projects, but to build a pipeline of the bread and butter deals.
3. However, the bread and butter deals are a means to an end. I've always known that. So the last piece for me was to clarify what end theses bread and butter deals would be a means too. And for me, it was abundantly clear as soon as I considered it: CASHFLOW.

See, the biggest reason I am in the business of real estate investing is to build cashflow and become financially free. Sure, I like the large money returns, the thrill of the chase, the meet-n-greet and wheeling-n-dealing. But the cashflow is king for me.

So while a project with incredible long-term potential (seemingly) fell through the cracks, I walked away with appreciation for increased clarity, focus and direction.

An Abundance of Insights Lately

Wow! I haven't posted since January 28th. A lot has happened since I last wrote. I was intending to blog about it as it occured, but that didn't happen. So today, one day after Mercury goes direct, I am jumping back on the band-wagon of blogging about Abundance.

What I am going to try to do is to recall, through blogging, everything that has happened this last month+. Indeed, this is a worthy exercise for me because I have had incredible breakthroughs in the last 2 weeks even. I pray I can remember all of them.

So, here we go. My barrage of Insights since January 1st!