Really Blessed

It's hard to believe that it's been slightly over a month since my massive inner and outer shift in late March. My car breaking down in West LA and being stranded for a few hours. Lucking out in finding a repair shop right across from where I broke down. A friend rescuing me and providing a place for me to sleep. The repairs being exactly the amount I had left on the one credit card I was carrying, plus a $100 bill I had in my wallet! (Ok God/Source/Whatever, I get the message. I'm taken care of perfectly.) And finally, being introduced to YTB!

Now, it's a month and a few days later and here's my abundance list:

1. I landed a great consulting gig, at better money than I was making before, better hours, more flexibility and great people. Not to mention the possibility of more work!
2. I've opened my own online travel site and have actively begun promoting it, to great response.
3. I've begun brokering an awesome deal for growing my YTB organization, that will benefit everyone involved.
4. I've discovered that I'm actually getting ahead much faster and sooner than I suspected!
5. My gas and change seems to be lasting longer!
6. People are becoming seriously interested in coming on my YTB team and building out their own teams.
7. I'm learning amazing stuff about recruiting, prospecting, talking to people, confidence and keeping my eyes and ears open for opportunities.
8. I've met several women I find myself VERY attracted to
9. I've had great conversations with friends.
10. My investment properties in Kansas City are getting more showings and will sell any day now!
11. I got a call back from someone I haven't spoken to in months!
12. I've spent some great time with friends.
13. I've been blessed with some payment arrangements that I would never have dreamed up myself!
14. I went to Millionaire Mind Intensive, which rocketed me into a whole new space.
15. I've been using my Money Management Jars since I took MMI and my Financial Freedom Account is growing.
16. I've been doing my 90-day Wealth Conditioning exercises every day and I love it!
17. I truly believe I am financially free, successful and an excellent money manager.
18. I feel so much love and appreciation.

All Is Well

Ya know, I had some financial scares today, as I am gradually -- and faster than I realized! -- rebuilding my financial picture. And when I had them I could FEEEL the discomfort of the icky thoughts. The fear. The upset. The worry. And I KNEW this was not who I really am. I KNEW I had way more than fear and worry in store for me and that SOO MUCH was right in my world. So I took a moment and affirmed where I am heading -- being caught up on all my behind bills, getting ahead and moving beyond into wealth and financial freedom, and being 100% WELL.

Tonight, I will retired, melting into my bed, opening to the loving arms of Source, filling me with appreciation for being here, playing the game of co-creative life!

Wellness and blessings to all of you, my friends!!

Even In the Little Things

There's a lot to be said for the little things.

I took a long walk today, needing to clear my head (and heart) yet again. I've lost track of how many walks I've taken this week. But they're helping immensely. To connect with the world, say hi to people I pass, check out flowers and trees and cars and women. Oops, did I just say that out loud?! LOL! :)

Anyways, after a good cry and some deep thoughts and feelings, I started to feel into the abundance that is all around me. It's a bitch to feel this when I'm not feeling so good myself. But as Abraham says, there is nothing for us to "do" but to notice how we're feeling and start finding better feeling thoughts.

You see, I was on my way to sell the only jewelry I have ever owned: two rings and a Tahitian black pearl on a necklace. And in my mind I was making a list of all the other things I could sell in order to get through this time period: all my video games, my PlayStation 2, my TV and DVD system, my George Foreman grill, etc. Some of them -- like my TV -- were a depressing thought. But, in this current situation, I'm willing to do whatever it takes.

When I arrived at my destination -- some gold shop on Ventura -- they buzzed me in (which was a bit freakish) and I was greeted without warmth and with some attitude. Bad day maybe? Well, they took one look at my stuff and basically scoffed at me. They didn't even offer to buy the gold for scrap!

Not knowing any other jewelry store, I was about to head home when something said, go sit down in front of Jamba Juice and just think. I was bummed I wouldn't be able to sell my jewelry and didn't know what to do. So I just sat there and thought. And tried to find a better feeling thought; tried to tap into my intuition.

Well, a few minutes went by, which were nicely interspersed with beautiful women, and all of a sudden, I noticed another jewelry shop in the center I was in. "Nah, I thought." But something said to at least ask. "Just ask."

This time, things were completely different.

As soon as I entered, I was greeted with a smile and warmth. The kind man looked at my jewelry and said he couldn't buy them as is, but would buy the gold for scrap, by weight. He put my ring and gold chain on the scale and they were 12.6 whatevers (grams?). He pays $10 a gram and he offered me some for the diamond in the ring, for a sum total of $175!!!

I spent a while talking to him, asking him about himself out of gratitude and friendliness. All the while feeling so much appreciation and like I really am being taken care of.

Later today, I drove over to Game Dude -- a used and new video game store -- and sold off ALL my games. ALL of them. Now that's rare. They even bought ones I've tried to sell them before. Go figure. But the coolest thing, is what happened on the way out.

As I was leaving the cashiers area, the cashier next to mine asked my guy is they carried The Incredibles 2. Apparently the customer to my right was looking for it for his kids. I laughed in amazement, because I had just sold that same game to them!!

I left the store with my $49 in cash thinking "Wow, in my time of need and contrast, I go sell a game, and make some kid's night. Their really is divine order in the universe."

This impacted me more than the $49 I walked away with, more than the yummy Indian food dinner I enjoyed with my hot cash shortly there after, more than having lost my only current lender earlier in the day, and more than this interesting sorting out of my rapidly altering preferences. That one, unknown child's happiness spawned from a moment of true synchronicity, did more for my feeling better than anything I had thought of or done this day.

For it is in the little things -- those synchronous moments -- that we see the clear-cut evidence of the abundance all around us!

Deep Change

I haven't wanted to blog lately. I've been very internal. Not always feeling so abundant. In fact, I've been through the ringer lately, so to speak. But keep coming out the other side feeling better and better.

For anyone who is going through profound change and challenge right now, as am I, I have it on good authority that we just need to make it through to the end of this month/beginning of April and then things will begin to shift and move forward again. We have been going through a sort of outer limbo while our inner lives are transforming.

These are odd times for me. I find myself in the worst financial situation I have ever been in, yet am on the verge of the most financial reward I have ever received. I have experienced the deepest waves of fear and sadness ever lately, followed by the most incredible consciousness of joy, LOVE and Well-Being, in which I feel better about myself and my life then ever before. In fact, last Friday a profound truth stuck me: Who I really am is not determined by my _________ (fill in the blank: money, relationships, status, health, success, whatever the condition...). But who I am -- and how I feel -- does determine all these conditions.

There is no rational explanation to all this. These are just times of deep change and letting go. We are all letting go of Fear and moving into Love, more and more deeply. Just knowing all my friends and most loved people are there fills me with great appreciation.

Thank you for being you! :)

Belly, Teach My Finances :)

Last week, on Tuesday, February 26th, I had a completely opposite day from my birthday on the 25th. First of all, I awoke in financial fear. It wasn't too big, mind you, but after all the great realizations I had over the prior weekend, I was kind of in shock. I mean, come on! What gives.

Well, I actually did a pretty damn good job keeping myself on an even keel. I kept using my tools at hand to keep my vibration as high as I could. And while I did roller coaster a bit emotional, I did okay.

Till the early evening. I just couldn't maintain it any more and I spun into some serious fear. Not surprisingly enough, that manifested as starting to criticize my body! I know, it may sound strange to hear a man say he's criticizing his body, but honestly, I was mentally ripping my stomach to shreds. Not a pretty site in my mind.

Luckily, I went to dance class that night. And things began to loose up -- in my mind and my body. We actually had an instruction to dance with our belly. Oy! But it caused me to drop into it so deeply that I began to have compassion for myself and my belly and the amazing job it does in my life.

I had been so mean to it that day and I began focus on what I appreciated about my belly: it is strong, healthy, powerful, fit and does a damn good job. I started to feel great appreciation and love for this incredible part of my body.

What came next was surprising.

I then actually started feeling better about my finances! Go figure. I realized that if my belly was strong and healthy and fit, despite all my criticism, then my finances were strong and healthy and fit too -- regardless of how they looked in the moment or what was going on with the number of zeros. I started saying to myself: my finances are healthy, stable, secure, solid and fit. And you know what? I believed it. Deep down. Just like I did with my belly. The rest of the class unfolded quite magically, with some incredible dances and great energy. And I have felt incredibly safe and secure since.

Belly, teach my finances. :)

I pray to remember this lesson for eternity. Or however long it is needed! :)

44 and Security

Today is my birthday! At 8:21 am Eastern time today, 44 years ago, I popped out all googly and stuff and began to breath on my own. Pretty trippy. But totally cool too! :)

What's even trippier, is what 44 means, given my recent study of the nature of Security.

And old astrologer of mine use to say that the number 4 means "foundation and security". (yeah, do you see where this is going?). So that 44 means "double foundation and security". Then she would total the two numbers together to get a third, equalling number. In this case 8, which is "power".

So 44 = double security resulting in power.

And I just spent the last 3 days delving into the nature of Security. There are NO coincidences.

The last piece of this puzzle is how Security actually feels! I have a sense of this -- and it's keyed to appreciation and love -- but I suspect there is more to it. I will work on it some tonight.

New Thoughts on Security

Last night, after sitting with all my revelations about Security, I took out my pen and notebook again and began to list out the new story I want to tell about Security. It was light and easy and fun and deep. I am beginning to feel the shift and clearing already occurring. So much so that when a creditor called, I felt secure and not thrown off at all. In fact, he took a smaller payment then usual, without any gruff or resistance.

So here's my new story around Security:

1. Security is an inside job!
2. Security and feeling secure is available to me at any time!
3. I've had financial security in one form or another many times n my life and I can have it again.
4. It is not based on how much money I have or make (take $$ out of the equation) but on my inner strength, confidence, love, worthiness and connection to Well-Being.
5. I'm so grateful for the level of security I actually already do have!
6. Security is not like a light switch -- either on or off; existent or non-existent. Security is eternally existent as a part of the expansion of who we are!
7. So I am secure right here and now, in this moment, and in more than one way.
8. I am secure in who I am in a person; in my new and current positive feeling beliefs; in my knowledge of my business; in my friendships and love relationships; in my understanding of how Law of Attraction and the Art of Allowing work; in my trust of the Universe and the stream I have created; in my confidence and knowing that I will receive ALL that I ask for and desire.
9. I know there is no death -- only the return to Non-Physical, which is exciting. So death needs no protecting from. Which means perhaps security is something bigger than a protection from death.
10. And even loss is irrelevant, in terms of needing protection from it. My life -- the Universe -- is eternally expansive, never stuck, never able to go backwards and un-become what it/I have become! So there is no such thing as loss, because any "loss" simply creates more desires, which are added to the Creative Mix and the Universe -- and my life -- expands, becoming more than it has been before. So if there is only ever expansion and growth, then there is no going backwards, and thus no "loss"!
11. Today, and from now on, I am open to expanding my security -- my sense of security and actual security -- further than it has ever been before.

So essentially, there is noting but an ever-expanding, ever-increasing state of Well-Being. And my sense of and connection to this is security. My knowledge, confidence, trust and assurance of Well-Being IS security. So everything is perfect, just the way it is.