Even In the Little Things

There's a lot to be said for the little things.

I took a long walk today, needing to clear my head (and heart) yet again. I've lost track of how many walks I've taken this week. But they're helping immensely. To connect with the world, say hi to people I pass, check out flowers and trees and cars and women. Oops, did I just say that out loud?! LOL! :)

Anyways, after a good cry and some deep thoughts and feelings, I started to feel into the abundance that is all around me. It's a bitch to feel this when I'm not feeling so good myself. But as Abraham says, there is nothing for us to "do" but to notice how we're feeling and start finding better feeling thoughts.

You see, I was on my way to sell the only jewelry I have ever owned: two rings and a Tahitian black pearl on a necklace. And in my mind I was making a list of all the other things I could sell in order to get through this time period: all my video games, my PlayStation 2, my TV and DVD system, my George Foreman grill, etc. Some of them -- like my TV -- were a depressing thought. But, in this current situation, I'm willing to do whatever it takes.

When I arrived at my destination -- some gold shop on Ventura -- they buzzed me in (which was a bit freakish) and I was greeted without warmth and with some attitude. Bad day maybe? Well, they took one look at my stuff and basically scoffed at me. They didn't even offer to buy the gold for scrap!

Not knowing any other jewelry store, I was about to head home when something said, go sit down in front of Jamba Juice and just think. I was bummed I wouldn't be able to sell my jewelry and didn't know what to do. So I just sat there and thought. And tried to find a better feeling thought; tried to tap into my intuition.

Well, a few minutes went by, which were nicely interspersed with beautiful women, and all of a sudden, I noticed another jewelry shop in the center I was in. "Nah, I thought." But something said to at least ask. "Just ask."

This time, things were completely different.

As soon as I entered, I was greeted with a smile and warmth. The kind man looked at my jewelry and said he couldn't buy them as is, but would buy the gold for scrap, by weight. He put my ring and gold chain on the scale and they were 12.6 whatevers (grams?). He pays $10 a gram and he offered me some for the diamond in the ring, for a sum total of $175!!!

I spent a while talking to him, asking him about himself out of gratitude and friendliness. All the while feeling so much appreciation and like I really am being taken care of.

Later today, I drove over to Game Dude -- a used and new video game store -- and sold off ALL my games. ALL of them. Now that's rare. They even bought ones I've tried to sell them before. Go figure. But the coolest thing, is what happened on the way out.

As I was leaving the cashiers area, the cashier next to mine asked my guy is they carried The Incredibles 2. Apparently the customer to my right was looking for it for his kids. I laughed in amazement, because I had just sold that same game to them!!

I left the store with my $49 in cash thinking "Wow, in my time of need and contrast, I go sell a game, and make some kid's night. Their really is divine order in the universe."

This impacted me more than the $49 I walked away with, more than the yummy Indian food dinner I enjoyed with my hot cash shortly there after, more than having lost my only current lender earlier in the day, and more than this interesting sorting out of my rapidly altering preferences. That one, unknown child's happiness spawned from a moment of true synchronicity, did more for my feeling better than anything I had thought of or done this day.

For it is in the little things -- those synchronous moments -- that we see the clear-cut evidence of the abundance all around us!

Deep Change

I haven't wanted to blog lately. I've been very internal. Not always feeling so abundant. In fact, I've been through the ringer lately, so to speak. But keep coming out the other side feeling better and better.

For anyone who is going through profound change and challenge right now, as am I, I have it on good authority that we just need to make it through to the end of this month/beginning of April and then things will begin to shift and move forward again. We have been going through a sort of outer limbo while our inner lives are transforming.

These are odd times for me. I find myself in the worst financial situation I have ever been in, yet am on the verge of the most financial reward I have ever received. I have experienced the deepest waves of fear and sadness ever lately, followed by the most incredible consciousness of joy, LOVE and Well-Being, in which I feel better about myself and my life then ever before. In fact, last Friday a profound truth stuck me: Who I really am is not determined by my _________ (fill in the blank: money, relationships, status, health, success, whatever the condition...). But who I am -- and how I feel -- does determine all these conditions.

There is no rational explanation to all this. These are just times of deep change and letting go. We are all letting go of Fear and moving into Love, more and more deeply. Just knowing all my friends and most loved people are there fills me with great appreciation.

Thank you for being you! :)

Belly, Teach My Finances :)

Last week, on Tuesday, February 26th, I had a completely opposite day from my birthday on the 25th. First of all, I awoke in financial fear. It wasn't too big, mind you, but after all the great realizations I had over the prior weekend, I was kind of in shock. I mean, come on! What gives.

Well, I actually did a pretty damn good job keeping myself on an even keel. I kept using my tools at hand to keep my vibration as high as I could. And while I did roller coaster a bit emotional, I did okay.

Till the early evening. I just couldn't maintain it any more and I spun into some serious fear. Not surprisingly enough, that manifested as starting to criticize my body! I know, it may sound strange to hear a man say he's criticizing his body, but honestly, I was mentally ripping my stomach to shreds. Not a pretty site in my mind.

Luckily, I went to dance class that night. And things began to loose up -- in my mind and my body. We actually had an instruction to dance with our belly. Oy! But it caused me to drop into it so deeply that I began to have compassion for myself and my belly and the amazing job it does in my life.

I had been so mean to it that day and I began focus on what I appreciated about my belly: it is strong, healthy, powerful, fit and does a damn good job. I started to feel great appreciation and love for this incredible part of my body.

What came next was surprising.

I then actually started feeling better about my finances! Go figure. I realized that if my belly was strong and healthy and fit, despite all my criticism, then my finances were strong and healthy and fit too -- regardless of how they looked in the moment or what was going on with the number of zeros. I started saying to myself: my finances are healthy, stable, secure, solid and fit. And you know what? I believed it. Deep down. Just like I did with my belly. The rest of the class unfolded quite magically, with some incredible dances and great energy. And I have felt incredibly safe and secure since.

Belly, teach my finances. :)

I pray to remember this lesson for eternity. Or however long it is needed! :)